A sad year

2012 is drawing to an end, an end I am looking forward to as it was not a good year.

Sadly poor darling dearest Carter passed away on 8 December this year, he is so missed by us all. I am waiting for the time when I can think of him without wishing with all my heart that he was here still as he gladdened so many hearts with just his presence and I want that love to envelope me time and again.

We were blessed to have had Carter as our companion for over 11 years of his 12 year life. One day I will be able to tell his tale, as he had a varied life with us, but that is for another day. I feel his spirit and soul with me every day, for which I am thankful.

2012 was also the year that I spent 6 months unemployed, which will hopefully change early in the new year. It was also the year that DH spent 6 months working on our place in France. Much as he annoys the heck out of me at times, I am rudderless and lonely without him here and this length of time was far too long - we won't be parted for this long again.

I am sure 2012 brought many good things too but I am so looking forward to the new year with it's fresh starts and fresh hopes and dreams.

Onwards and upwards my friends!

Time and Patience

“The strongest of all warriors are these two: Time and Patience” Leo Tolstoy

 Well, I have been struggling with these two warriors for a while now. However, not all is bad, so I must sometimes remind myself to count my blessings for the friends, family and creatures I have supporting me.

DH has been in France working on our place since June. Patience waiting for him to come home - he still doesn't know when that will be :(

Patience in trying to find work, struggling on this front: interviews (multiple sometimes for the same job at various stages) but no success (yet). I have another interview this afternoon which I would really love, not only because I need and want work but also because it is just up my street experience-wise, as well as with what the company does. A good match!  If I am successful I will of course tell more.

Time and Patience in waiting for Carter to heal and repair. I know that he won't be back to his old self as he's getting older and I try to look on every day now as a blessing. But it's hard. I wish he was a youngster again so that we would have all this time together again - but that won't happen either. I just try and focus on his wonderful character and nature and all of the love he has given us - and we in return - and the lovely memories we have together. And he's still here, happily mooching along, but I worry.

I also sometimes need to give myself a slap around the face and a boot up the backside to stop feeling sorry for  myself and get on with it!  That I will do right now and get my chores done so that I can prepare for the interview and know I have a meal in the slow cooker to come home to, along with a neat and tidy home to bring a smile to my face - well, Carter will do that as I walk in, but it's always nice to have good surroundings to collapse into and pick up my knitting :)

Many many happy returns Carter-boy!

My dearest darling Carter is twelve years old today!

Many happy returns (and gravy bones!) and here's to many more :) xxx

Autumn fruitfulness

Well, it must be autumn: sunshine, rain, mists, apples, baking... lit fire!

I came across this fabulous recipe for a cider and apple cake in our local Devon Life magazine and just had to bake it, especially as I had some Normandy cider in the house, and a need for some warmth and comfort.

Killerton Cider & Apple Cake

55g/2oz sultanas
150ml/5fl oz dry cider
1 large cooking apple, peeled cored and chopped
115g/4oz butter, softened
finely grated zest of 1 lemon
115g/4oz light muscovado sugar
2 medium eggs, lightly beaten
225g/8oz stoneground flour, white or wholemeal (I used ordinary plain flour)
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tbsp demerara sugar

• Preheat oven to 180C/gas 5. Lightly butter a 20cm/8in cake tin.
• Roughly dice the apples to the same size as the sultanas and mix these two ingredients with the cider in a bowl.
• In a large bowl, cream the butter, muscovado sugar and lemon zest until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in the eggs, a little at a time.
• Sift the flour, baking powder and cinnamon into a bowl.
• Gently fold the flour mixture into the creamed butter, followed by the soaked fruit and cider.
• Gently mix until well incorporated, then spoon into the prepared tin.
• Quickly sprinkle the demerara sugar over the top and bake for 45-60 minutes (I baked it for just 45 minutes and think it's just right) or until well risen and cooked through.
• leave to cool in the tin for 5 mins and then turn out and leave to cool - if you can!

Lovely!  It's Carter's 12th birthday tomorrow (13th October) so perhaps I should share this with him? Hmm, sultanas are a no no for dogs, so I'll have to eat it all by myself!

I have had so many, many messages of support and hugs that this very emotional time has been made less frightening knowing so many lovely peeps were thinking of us.

No doubt there are many folks who would say ‘its only a dog’ but there are many of us that feel very differently about the animals we chose to have around us. We have no kids and I have always presumed that ours are our child replacements. However, many people over the last week or two have said they feel the same and yet they have children too - so perhaps it’s just a human emotion some have and some don’t.

Anyway, as I wrote last week, Carter had a CT scan, where the surgeons inserted a catheter with a pressure sensor into his jugular vein in his neck and drew that down into the heart. This was to provide final evidence that what Carter was suffering from was pericarditis (an inflammation of the sac around the heart, the pericardium) rather than cancer, which wouldn’t give the same sort of pressure results I gather.

He went straight into surgery where the surgeons removed virtually all of the pericardium which would allow any fluid being built up to disspate within the body and be drawn away naturally into body cells. The type of pericarditis he had was constrictive, meaning the sac wasn’t expanding as it should, probably from previous scarring (he had something similar just over a year ago) - this can also be caused by cancer cells, which is why he had to undergo two days of tests before the decision was made to operate.

After the operation, which took about an hour, Carter went into intensive care where he was on an opium (well, opioid drug of some kind!) drip and had a chest drain to remove any air and fluid that built up after the op.

He came out of intensive care after a couple of days and the drain was finally removed on Saturday and he was given the all clear to come home yesterday (Monday) to carry on his recuperation with us. We were so excited, I was bouncing like a child!!

If I was excited, you should have seen Carter when the vet brought him out to us in the waiting room at Langley. He was chattering and shivering and so so happy to see us both :) I was a bit shocked by the extreme shaving - I’m sure as little as possible was done, but his entire torso is shaved apart from a 2 inch wide strip just off centre down his spine. And the colour! Blue rinse is one way of describing this… all from the chemicals they used in the op to keep him sterile. And he can’t have a bath, understandably, due to his many staples and stitches (both up the side of his chest and on his neck). But we don’t care what he looks like: it’s Carter. And now he’s home :))))

I didn’t know until yesterday, but after the op, he was unable to walk at all and had to be carried outside to have a wee. Carter has always had a tendency to slightly drag his back legs, nothing serious but it always just seemed his back legs were a little lazy! Turns out he has some kind of neurological issue that means he cannot use his hind legs very well, and in fact as he gets older this, along with the expected arthritis, has reduced his mobility only a little, but he hasn’t been able to jump into the car at all recently. He was also beginning to 'knuckle', turning his toes under and not realising he was standing on them (like a clenched knuckle) - this he hasn't done since he came home which makes the vet's comments that it may have been triggered by the build up of fluid on nerves a possibility.

Luckily, he can walk well again now without aid, he is a bit wobbly but that is to be expected. The vets have put him onto metacam, which is like ibuprofen (a non steroid pain killer) which we think is really helping his movement as he seems to have a spring in his step which wasn’t there before!

In all, about 10kg of fluid was removed from his chest and heart cavities (some immediately, and some has built up day by day whilst he was in Langley) and he now weighs a mere 35kg - the lightest he had been before was 38kg (and the heaviest 44kg, when a French vet very tactfully said ‘your dog eez fat’!), which considering he is a tall golden retriever wasn’t a problem. We’ve tried to keep him ever so slightly under weight over the past couple of years to help with his joints as he gets older - and we all know how goldies are led by their stomachs!!

So, there you have it, the full tale of woe and joy. I'm sitting here typing this with Carter fast asleep at my feet - a placce I hope he'll be for a long time to come :)

Feeling all wrung out

DH and I have been through a rollercoaster of a ride for the past few days thanks to our darling Carter.

Just over a year ago, Carter suffered from a case of pericarditis where the pericardium (the sac around the heart) becomes inflamed and cannot deal with the fluid created by the body and pumped by the heart (not just blood) so the fluid starts to build up both in the pericardium and in the abdomen. Ultimately this would cause heart failure.

The wonderful vets at Bristol vet school saved his life - our lovely vet diagnosed the problem and knew Carter would be in better hands in Bristol (thanks heavens for pet insurance!).

And it was the teamwork of our vet and Bristol that have done it again.

Carter was admitted as an emergency case on Saturday and has today had an operation to remove the pericardium after many many tests - where cancer seemed to be likely, and thank goodness wasn't found. He is now in intensive care so we have a hill yet to climb, but it doesn't seem so daunting anymore....

These last 6 months I have been mainly...

Warning - picture heavy post (and very few words) well, don't they say a picture says a thousand words?!?

Since early February I have....



Survived the heavy snow we had... the picture with Carter shows the main lane at the top of our track, totally impassable.



I have learnt to weave on my mother's old Weavemaster 2 shaft loom.

Tried to learn to spin using a scrummy drop spindle I bought (made from walnut and wild olive, mmm the smell!).



Bought an old Ashford Scholar spinning wheel from a woman at my weaving class. They're all enablers, I tell you :)



Knit my first ever shawl - this is Ishbel knit in Cariad Flimstone Bay (aka Posh Yarns Emily) 4ply.


Been over on a solo trip to Normandie to check on the barn...



It was hip high in nettles and thistles - all three quarters of an acre!!!




Taught sock knitting classes at my LYS, Fiddlesticks in Honiton (there's the lovely Barbara in the far right opposite where I'd be seated).



Met Isla, my new great-niece-in-law!


Spent a week with my fossils out in Spain...



... and I cooked too! See, evidence above :)



Whilst in Spain I went to a little museum dedicated to Miro, not very far from my parent's place. It was lovely, and very inspirational seeing his earlier work before he went totally surreal.



I've been growing potatoes...



... and tomatoes in the new little greenhouse (Freecycle is a wonderful thing!)...



... and all sorts of other veg in our raised bed.




I've spun my very first little ball of yarn, this is it all bright an green after I plied it.



Knitting more socks, of course.



Taking this lovely roving (from Wildcraft) and turning it into a couple of bobbins of this...


which I will eventually ply together.



Using my little Scholar (named Maria which I thought apt as it was the name my maternal grandmother was known by - mainly because her first name was very old Polish and chosen so that it wasn't easily pronounced by the occupying Germans in the late 19th century! I also thought Maria was a good solid name with historical roots that just felt right for my first wheel) to spin some lovely BFL/silk roving into a hank of singles which I will use for weaving.


More soon!

Marmalade... no, not the cat!

I've always loved the colour of marmalade: gorgeous tones of orange ranging from silken yellow through vibrant ginger on to scrumptious sienna. Perhaps that's why I adore George so?!


I decided to try my hand at making some Seville Orange marmalade recently, never having made use of my preserving pan in the 4 years I've owned it, I thought it was high time. I've come across a fabulous book from the River Cottage handbook series focusing purely on preserves. This is a great source of information and recipes for all kinds of jams, pickles, sauces... and fruit liqueurs (including my beloved Sloe Gin) so I think I will need to buy my own copy of this and hand this one back to the library for somebody else to enjoy!

For my first attempt I opted for the sliced fruit method where all the chopping is done at the start of the process (squeeze the juice from 1kg of oranges and slice the peel including all the pith). The peel is then soaked overnight in the juice plus 2.5 litres of water and then simmered in the preserving pan until tender: about 2-2.5 hours (until pan contents are reduced by about a third). Add 75ml of lemon juice (I cheated and bought bottled) and 2kg of demerara sugar (although white sugar will do, I like the darkness the demerara brough to the mixture). Simmer until all the sugar has reduced - if you don't the sugar will stay granular within the marmalade I am expertley informed - then boil rapidly until setting point is reached (about 20-30 minutes but could be more). Et voila - marmalade.





And it tastes yummy :-)

I then went on to try the whole fruit method where the chopping is done after you have simmered 1kg of fruit for a couple of hours. But I made the mistake of trying to cook Sunday lunch at the same time and missed the setting point and ended up with a preserving pan of black treacle which had burnt to the bottom. Not good. I've soaked and soaked the pan, to no avail, Steve very kindly used his engineering prowess to sand it all off and regain a nice shiny bottom (the pan of course... not me!). I was going to add some whisky to this second batch but I may drink it now instead as I think I may have missed the Seville season now for this year. Well, there have to be some perks!!

Minimalist Monochrone or Characterful Colour?

I am always surprised at how a few hours can change your outlook - here, our vista: look at how the landscape has changed in just the space of 7 hours. The picture of Carter by the dilapidated garage was taken at about 9.30 in the morning yesterday, and the following image was taken at about 4.30pm the same day. Such colour in the second one as opposed to minimalist monochrome of the first.


I'm thinking George the cat doesn't like snow! This may be the first time he has experienced it - actually, I'm pretty sure it is as he was about a year old when we homed him last April and snow hasn't been seen down this part of Devon for a few years. Poor chap, he really hates it when I launch him into the white wilderness a couple of times a day to do what he has to do... and then shut the door quickly so he doesn't come back in (bad, bad mum!!) - I'd rather that than a litter tray in the house (or worse).


This morning, much has frozen so it is becoming lethal underfoot - we may still be housebound for another day.

Striding on...

Yes, I have finally tidied the mess that is my head - aka my studio! Just didn't quite get round to posting the pics. What do you think? I certainly feel much calmer and more organised now my surroundings are less of a tsunami.

We had a little snow earlier in the week and I bemoaned the fact that it wasn't enough. Well, it is said that best you be careful of what you wish for... we've been hit four square here in our little corner of East Devon. We are well and truly snowed in as even the 4x4 cannot get up the track onto the main road (ha - the lane we call the main road is nothing like a good old council cared for A or even B road and will never see the flashing lights of a snow plough!).

Yesterday evening, driving home at around 11.30pm from work, the journey took me 50 minutes rather than the usual 20. I decided to take a different route that usual to avoid the high road from Sidmouth to Honiton and drive via West Hill and use the A30.

After spinning the car around before even getting to the A30 (and then deciding I had best lock the front hubs to get full 4x4 - doh!) I gracefully allowed a snow plough to take the slip road onto the A30 before me, being the generous soul that I am ;-) Even he had trouble. The entire 12 mile journey was done at between 10 and 20 mph from door to door and I have never been more grateful to have the old jalopy as I was last night.

Home safe and sound, thank goodness.

But it's excitement! Luckily we have electricity (better than about 22,000 homes in Devon today I gather), heating oil, wood for the stove and food in the freezer - and hiking sticks to use whilst walking the dog, who is loving every chilly minute of it!

Enjoy these images....


Looking back down our track towards the house:


Where our track meets the 'main road':

Carter loving it - and standing in the middle of the 'main road'!

Disorder & Chaos

You know how you feel when you've had a good sort out at home or in the office and everything has a home and all looks nice and welcoming? Well, this is my chaos at the moment in my office/studio....


World War III, in Devon! Although, I hate to admit it, but it has been worse. No wonder my mind is in such a mish mash with a real lack of inspiration or true creativity. I daren't show you the picture of the doorway, as it has all the washing hanging on airers to dry - oh, okay, here goes... Well, actually, Blogger is so blown away by the mess that it won't allow me to put up another image!!

Plan for the weekend: sort out the studio and bring some calm to the whirling in my mind (or at least attempt to) ... working towards my hopes for the year.

How is your head and the resulting chaos or calm?

New Start :: 2009

Well, the start of a new year brings with it many new ideas, hopes and thoughts.

Being inspired by Project365, where a photo is taken every day and posted online (either Flickr or a blog), I didn't want to be tied down by this and will take the concept and rework it into something that suits me. Perhaps that should be my aim for the coming year: don't try and change myself to fit into other people's expectations but allow me to come to terms with my own character and let it shine.

I plan to use my blog far more this coming year, not by giving myself the challenge of daily blogging, but you never know how it will turn out!

My hopes for the coming year...

... develop my writing outlets and have more work published in magazines...
... enjoy my many skills: cooking, sewing, knitting, painting, languages, animals...
... see our project in France develop into something resembling something more than a barn...
... try to maintain (and better) my health, both physical and mental, and not wallow in self pity that I haven't achieved unachievable goals (have you spotted that none of these are stated as resolutions for 2009?)...

Let's see how these outlines shape themselves in the coming months.


First finished project for 2009: Winter Cottage Mittens, my very first pair, from a kit purchased from Posh Yarn, hand-dyed scrummy yarn and pattern developed by the lovely Dee from Posh. The pics are of the just finished mittens, not blocked so a little lumpy until I pull them off my hands to wash and block them!

I love mittens. I recall a bright red pair, with a cable down the front and a crocheted string to hold them in lace attached to my coat, from my childhood. I loved them and, in a recent conversation with Mamo, found that I was very young when I had these (knitted by her fair hand) so they must have struck a cord to stick in my memory like this.

I feel these won't be my last mittens this year - any pattern suggestions?

Chestnuts roasting by the open fire...

Corny old song lines always get to me.

Although this isn't an open fire, and certainly isn't a chestnut, I'm pleased with these socks which I presented to my brother for his recent big birthday. Although his reaction was a little underwhelmed, once DH had proudly shown him his own handmade socks (on his feet, lilttle love) my bro realised that this was a labour of love and something money couldn't buy.



I forget that non-knitters, and people not subjected to living with a knitter, just don't get the time and effort that goes into a knitted object. I like to say that a hand-knitted sock or scarf is like being wrapped in love!

Missing... no action!

Okay, I didn't mean to be silent for so long. Just happened! Life gets in the way and all of a sudden it's months later... thanks Sue of Eco-Tricot for prodding me to blog again! The meme you've tagged me with will appear very soon, promise.

Here's a few pics to brighten the day. I took Carter down to Branscombe for a walk this morning as it is so beautifully sunny here. He loves his trips to the seaside - in fact he virtually howls until you let him out of the back of the car once he smells the sea! Very embarrassing if anybody's about.



The walk from the village down to the beach is a lovely one, level paths meandering over the stream leading out to the sea. And then the wide expanse of pebble beach with views far and wide. Perfect!


Somebody here seems to be enjoying himself!

First Foray Into The World of Dyeing

I purchased a starter kit from DT Crafts way back in December 2005, when I first had the urge to create my own personalised yarn. This, typically, got shelved and packed away - until now. Resurrected and used... however, things didn't turn out quite as initially planned!

My initial idea was to create skeins of duck egg blue with chocolate and some undyed bits, plus an alternative of pale pink and chocolate. Colourways which are much easier to find nowadays then they were even just 2.5 years ago - but that wouldn't stop me trying now.

I very carefully read the instructions, carefully measuring and noting all I had done (creating a stock solution of 1% of the turquoise and of the dark brown) and decided on using a turkey baster to add the dye to the presoaked yarn and then microwaving it.

First mistake: too much dye. No undyed bits remained.

Second mistake: was it me, or was it the long timespan since I purchased the dye, but the dark brown came out maroon! I decided to limit myself to two colours initially so the red wasn't used at all.

The yarn was rinsed until water ran clear, then hung to dry and re-skeined to mix the colours more evenly in the skein. I love it! Not what I had planned, but a great start nontheless with many points learned already - main one: leave the gorgeous colour dyeing to the professionals! Posh Yarn and Fybrespates cannot be beaten - but it's nice to try, even if it's just to know how time draining and complex the whole process can be.



I'd love to try natural dyes, but step by step, let's get this one right first...